MOVE OVER HOUSEWIVES    

No need to toss the tables at the end of the evening, there’s a more dramatic reality show playing out on the east and west coasts.  No, it’s not Downton Abbey or the new Upstairs, Downstairs.  Wait! Maybe it’s  the new,new Upstairs, Downstairs,  Bravo style:  “Real Housekeepers of the Rich and Famous.”

Casting calls should be a hoot.  “Loyal” maids only need apply.  The frumpier the better.  No need to get permissions from the privileged employers.  Entire seasons can be shot in their homes without the lady of the house ever knowing.

We begin the season with a profile of the housekeeper.  Where she came from, how kind and generous her employers have been, and the definition of her American Dream.    We explore what it’s like to work in someone’s mansion, if there’s any resentment, if they are happy or unhappy in their environment.

Then, as the weeks go on, and we see the housekeeper make the family’s beds, pick up after the kids, clean their laundry and dishes, and iron their fine Irish linen and lace tablecloths with matching napkins, we provoke a little.  “Don’t you think you should live like this, too?  Are your bosses generous enough?  What does the lady of the house have that you don’t?”

We bring the housekeeper to the local park, where she’ll meet some of the younger neighborhood nannies who have similar discussions each week.  They talk about their hero: Marsha Garces, who married Robin Williams on April 30, 1989, after working in his home as his son’s nanny. At the time she was several months pregnant with his child,  Zelda Rae (born July 31, 1989).  They had another child, Cody Alan (November 25, 1991) and remained married until March 2008. Garces had filed for divorce citing irreconcilable differences.

REAL HOUSEKEEPERS OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS: NEW YORK

New York reality shows are usually uglier and “REAL HOUSEKEEPERS”  definitely delivers. In this city’s franchise, we follow the maids of the posh hotels.  In the first episode, we meet a group of maids, some married, some single, some with kids, some without and a few supporting entire families in the countries from where they immigrated.  We ask them what they like the most about their jobs… usually it’s not cleaning toilets, but the steady pay check while they learn the language and dream of a better life.   Next, we find out what the like least about their job… which is where we learn what disgusting slobs some rich people can be.

As the season develops, we take infra cameras in to the poshest suites and find where the occupant’s semen and e. coli wind up… and it’s hilarious!  It’s on the floor, the walls, the remote controls, it’s everywhere.

Out of eight or so hotel maids, we’re bound to hear the nasty stories — what rich guy left only pocket change after a two-week stay, what pig tried to grope them during a bed turn down. Over the season, if we’re pick the right hotel, we’re bound to find one housekeeper who actually gets grabbed by a real hotel predator in an expensive suite usually occupied by world banking officials. As our featured maid yells, “Stop, stop, you’re hurting me!”  she blasts him with the  pepper spray we’ve armed her with, and in walks Andy Cohen in a Chris Hansen “gotcha” moment.

So Bravo, stay ahead of the curve.  Who needs “Housewives” when “Housekeepers” can be so much fun.


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