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Goodbye HELLO! Your interview with Arnold’s baby mama/housekeeper has as much ring of truth as Hugh Hefner’s fiance suddenly calling of their wedding because she just discovered she doesn’t like the Playboy lifestyle.
 Shame on the network news reporters I watched this morning who naively played the story from  HELLO!  as if it was a journal of record.

The headline on the magazine’s website reads:

HELLO! exclusive: Mildred Baena, the housekeeper who had a child with Arnold Schwarzenegger speaks out for the first time

HELLO! then says that Baena has come out of weeks of hiding to “set the record straight” because of all the fictitious stories circulating in the media. This, they add, will be her first and only interview exclusively to HELLO! magazine.

My first question is: how much was she paid and why would she choose a British publication over an American one if she needed to separate fact from fiction.

Perhaps those fictitious stories  included the widely published one that she had to pull her son out of school and deprive him of his middle school graduation to protect him from  potential media exploitation. (Imagine those animals lying in wait to grab a photo of the illegitimate Schwarzenegger child and zap it around the world for all to see!)  It turns out the likely reason the boy missed that special rite of passage was because his mother wanted to exploit him herself, selling that exclusive  mother-son photo to HELLO! — presumably the highest bidder.

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Photo: © David Schumacher

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MOVE OVER HOUSEWIVES    

No need to toss the tables at the end of the evening, there’s a more dramatic reality show playing out on the east and west coasts.  No, it’s not Downton Abbey or the new Upstairs, Downstairs.  Wait! Maybe it’s  the new,new Upstairs, Downstairs,  Bravo style:  “Real Housekeepers of the Rich and Famous.”

Casting calls should be a hoot.  “Loyal” maids only need apply.  The frumpier the better.  No need to get permissions from the privileged employers.  Entire seasons can be shot in their homes without the lady of the house ever knowing. Read the rest of this entry »