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Bill Cosby: sex offender? Although I have a cynical streak after a few decades of reporting on sex crimes, I still am always resistant to early drum beats of a sex scandal. “Who stands to benefit?” “Is there a pattern of behavior?” “Is there a smoking gun.”

Working backwards, we start with the ironically titled 1969 comedy record, “It’s True! It’s True!” by Bill Cosby. Now that would be just darn silly if it wasn’t for the cringe-making biographical sketch titled “Spanish Fly.”

In this ninth and last comedy record for Warner Brothers, Cosby recalls being a 13-year-old boy and learning from another street kid about the mysterious Spanish fly.

“You know anything about Spanish fly?”
“No, tell me about Spanish fly.”
“Well, there’s this girl called Crazy Mary and you put some (mumble) in her drink and she goes, ‘Uh, (unintelligible freaky noises.)’
“Oh, yeah, that’s groovy. Spanish fly is really groovy,”
“And, any time you see a girl (mumbles), oh yeah, Spanish fly.”
“You see five girls standing alone — okay, if I had a whole jug of Spanish fly I’d light up that whole corner up.”

In the sketch, Cosby fast-forwards to his life as an adult star of I Spy And the
moment he hears the greatest news:

“Bob (Robert Culp) and I are working together on I Spy and Sheldon Leonard comes up to us and says ‘I Spy is going to Spain.’ “

As the audience erupts with laughter, Cosby pauses a beat and proclaims, “A childhood dream come true!”

“I say to Bob, ‘You know what I’m gonna pick up when I get to Spain?’ Bob doesn’t know anything….”
“He says, ‘Spanish fly… There’s a girl in my neighborhood in Berkeley called Crazy Mary…’

And so they plan their trip, sing variations of “Spanish fly, Spanish fly, this is the land of Spanish fly.” They sing in the airport, on the plane, through customs. Finally, in the cab, the driver is excited to meet the two Americans and before they can ask him for Spanish fly, he asks if they have any American fly.

So, is this a smoking gun or an outdated sexist comedy sketch? Is this just a terrible co-inky-dinky that so many accusations from a variety of women match the timeframe and spirit of “Spanish Fly.”

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Goodbye HELLO! Your interview with Arnold’s baby mama/housekeeper has as much ring of truth as Hugh Hefner’s fiance suddenly calling of their wedding because she just discovered she doesn’t like the Playboy lifestyle.
 Shame on the network news reporters I watched this morning who naively played the story from  HELLO!  as if it was a journal of record.

The headline on the magazine’s website reads:

HELLO! exclusive: Mildred Baena, the housekeeper who had a child with Arnold Schwarzenegger speaks out for the first time

HELLO! then says that Baena has come out of weeks of hiding to “set the record straight” because of all the fictitious stories circulating in the media. This, they add, will be her first and only interview exclusively to HELLO! magazine.

My first question is: how much was she paid and why would she choose a British publication over an American one if she needed to separate fact from fiction.

Perhaps those fictitious stories  included the widely published one that she had to pull her son out of school and deprive him of his middle school graduation to protect him from  potential media exploitation. (Imagine those animals lying in wait to grab a photo of the illegitimate Schwarzenegger child and zap it around the world for all to see!)  It turns out the likely reason the boy missed that special rite of passage was because his mother wanted to exploit him herself, selling that exclusive  mother-son photo to HELLO! — presumably the highest bidder.

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Photo: © David Schumacher

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CALLING STEPHANOPOULOS AND OTHER WEINER SYMPATHIZERS

Who Loves 'Ya, Baby? You do!

Well, if this batch of TMZ pictures isn’t the end of the road for NY Rep. Anthony Weiner, we’ll have to re-write the House Rules, the Articles of Impeachment and maybe the U.S. Constitution to offer us  justice, domestic tranquility, and a common defense against exposure to any more narcissistic, self-possessed, self-absorbed, self-snapped photos of Anthony Weiner.   I don’t know which tweet repulses me more: the original  photo of his nipples or of the newest release where the naked congressman is seen using his penis as a towel hook in front of a mirror in the gym in the House of Representatives. If ever there was proof that all men are not created equal, it is an elected official who worships  his own body as if  it had served as Michelango’s model for the statue of David.   Read the rest of this entry »